Sunday, January 6, 2008

Fake it up

My meat-eating evolution hasn’t been easy or pretty, folks. Days before I decided to give up the goat (or more precisely cow), I was throwin’ back multiple patties at Wendy’s with great regularity. Oooooh, how I loved ’em. But, I always regretted chowin’ on cow (even in moderation) cause it made me as lethargic as ________ _______ (fill in with your favorite rehabbin’ celebrity) for the rest of the day. Not worth it.

Anyway, that’s all in the past and I don’t miss it. My meatless revolution is a comfy, experimental place (how 'bout we call it Frigginrighteousvania? Huh? huh?). This place has got a boatload of “who-the-hell-needs-meat” sammiches.

I used to shell out serious coin for Morningstar Farms and Boca’s variety of meat substitute. Not anymore. There’s so much you can do with lentils, chickpeas and black beans (my fave). Truthfully, it’s a mess mashing and kneading the ingredients, and the words “vital wheat gluten” don’t make anyone salivate quite like “double-bacon cheesebruger.” Still, after all the fuss, you end up with something great, like this Black Bean Burger from the Veganomicon. It probably woulda been even better if I were better at frying, but it’s cajun and I’m cool with that. And a thick layer o' cheese and generous mustard (great name for that Reel Big Fish tribute band you've been dreamin' about forming) make every burger a li'l better in Frigginrighteousvania.

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